Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Choosing A Cesarean

**forewarning this is a very long post**

Monday, I wrote about my thoughts on a cesarean. Today, I’m going to explain my thoughts on why I am choosing one. If you read that post my choice may be surprising. 

VBAC stands for vaginal birth after cesarean. I was totally VBAC gung ho after Little C was born.

 “Okay, so I may have failed the first time but I won't let that happen again!” I would think. Like it's my choice, because that worked so well the first time. I gobbled up other people's stories of their VBAC success.
Immediately after Little C was born I made sure to ask if I had the right type if incision making a VBAC possible. {Most hospitals do it so that is a possibility}

I read about VBACs.

I looked into the class that my hospital offered. I was all set.
If then, why am I choosing to have a C-section this time around? Three reasons:

 I'm afraid.  I want family present. The allure of a holiday baby.

Let me back up…

My very first appointment with Baby E came. I confirmed the pregnancy and had my first ultrasound. It was amazing all over again. 

At the first appointment my wonderful OBGYN that saw me all throughout my first pregnancy told me we were looking at a C-section. I said, “umm, I’m only 9 weeks pregnant and I’ve already decided on a VBAC.”

How could my doctor  already be suggesting this? I was having a VBAC gosh darn it. She told me to think about it and we would discuss on the next visit. 
This went on for the next few visits. Me asking why I was not a good candidate for the VBAC. “Who made good candidate?” I asked. 
Apparently people who didn’t deliver ten pound babies via a C-section. Grr, I was being held to not being able to deliver vaginally the first time. 
When you have a large baby they call it macrosomia and assume your second will be just as large if not larger. I know plenty of women who had babies bigger than Little C, but they had them vaginally so it was not questioned how their second would be delivered. 

Hockey Husband and I finally made our decision and really it was just me, because he supported me but didn’t suggest one way or the other.
I was afraid. I am afraid. I chose the C-section this go around because I’m scared that I’ll go in thinking I can do a VBAC and I’ll have to have an emergency C-section all over again. I’m not afraid of the labor, just failing again. I feel empowered by choosing this path. At least this way it is my choice 100%. 
{I realize that things may not even go this way. This baby could come weeks early or days earlier then the planned c-section}

I want family present. Little C was born in July and everyone was able to make it. Out of town family was able to be there and that was so special. Then all three of my sisters were out of school. Rancher Dad and two of my sisters had jobs, but luckily they were able to take some time off and were give flexibility. It almost got close to my dad and sisters going back home though because Little C was five days late. In fact, everyone except my Scrabble Mama who stayed for three weeks, had to pack up and leave the next day. This time the baby is due in March. School will be in session and everyone has jobs.  Coming from out of town and traveling 1500 miles was going to be difficult.
My OBGYN wanted me to schedule something regardless. If I was trying the VBAC path then we could schedule after the due date, but something needed to be on the calendar. She suggested March 18th six days before my due date. I said how about the 17th (it’s a Sunday).
I wanted the 30th. My thinking was five days after my due date before the adjustment. Little C was five days late so it seemed right. I was sort of joking when I said the 17th I felt pretty confident she wouldn't want to schedule something for a Sunday. Wasn't this why they scheduled these things?
And then, she agreed the 17th if I wanted it. I was a little taken aback. But, the idea of a holiday appealed to me. Not because I really wanted a baby born on a holiday, but because I already had one. Little C’s birthday is on the 4th of July. I probably would have never chosen a “holiday baby”. Someone’s birthday is a holiday so why combine? Well, Little C has 4 cousins and two of them are “holiday babies” Halloween and April Fool's respectively. The two closest in age to Little C. Given the chance to have this baby on St. Patrick's Day I went for it. 

In the end, I'm very happy with my decision. It’s like I said Monday, we can’t always choose how a baby is placed in our arms. We I can’t stress over every detail, but we can be immensely grateful when they are placed there. 

1 comment:

Casey said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I think you have every right to be scared of having the same issues as last time (though it makes me sad to hear you think YOU failed). If scheduling the C section makes you feel empowered, then that's a great thing!!

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